Today I am taking a flying risky leap and sharing from the Darkness of my Journey to let you in to my vulnerable hiding places where the Spirit reveals itself in all it's Glory!
I'm Angela Roberts, a leader, who is fiercely dedicated to Feminine Liberation, Divine Empowerment, and providing support to help women discover and bring forth their Unique Essence and Gifts for the Fruition of the Soul's Creative Purpose with less of the Distress and Exhaustion we so easily fall into. To discover divine pathways to a more joyful journey! To inspire leaders to also use dance, as the ancients did, as a powerful way to create the cultural change they may be desiring to see in the world.
As a Deep Feeling, Passionately Expressive, Wild yet Spiritual Woman I've passed thru some very dark, distressing, and down right victimizing situations. Over the past 24 years I've had to overcome these and through it all I developed some expert skills finding my way back to my joyful true essence, to feeling safe connecting with others. The Holy Spirit has powerfully supported me all my life but I notice it and trust it most dramatically thru creation itself!
Part of my Soul's Creative Purpose is to be Spirit's Surrendered Vessel; to connect, to listen, see, feel and follow it's guidance, it's call upon my heart. To merge with it and co-create, as a temple of the living Spirit, in order to bring forth expressions and take actions that fulfill my Divine purpose. To explore and share the magnificent experience of Divine Empowerment and Breathtaking Beauty of this Life Journey, especially the Darkest Journeys thru the Wilderness of Distress and Despair. Even to explore the Inner Emotional Landscapes where we struggle to find the light and our way back home, to our Joyous Childlike True Essence!
I've learned that it's critical to connect to Spirit who knows the way, connecting is like lighting the Torch so we take more secure steps thru the difficult landscape. We must tune in through all our senses to receive the Guidance we need, as the Spirit is always conspiring to assist us and bring us back home, sending messages through all of Creation!
One of the ways Spirit Whispers to us is through our emotions and feelings, letting us know when we are holding onto a thought, belief, or perception that is bringing forth our pain, exhaustion, lack of resources and keeping us from the joy and love we can have in life. I tune in to Spirit in a huge variety of ways and one of them is thru my daily Great Spirit Connection Ritual (embodiment/sacred dance practice), when I get quiet and present and just let Spirit send me a message. This time two poems came flooding thru just to remind me how Spirit has always been there for me, calling me back to Love, Joy, and Connection! These are memories of being 8 years old on the ranch in Utah, where I grew up. I am not formally a poet, excuse the form, I am raw with it and true to its streaming thru the Vessel.
Do you have a connection ritual? What ways has Spirit been trying to reach you? I'd love to hear your experience, you are meant to be a blessing to my life just as I am to yours!
These poems really express some of the early experiences I had with the Spirit thru Creation. The ways it reached out to support me and how I allowed or you might say surrendered to it. I hope they serve you in some way and thank you for taking a moment to visit my blog and open to hear the deeper parts of who I am.
floating on yellow spores
they were against me… the unacceptable Catholic
i did not belong, it was clear.
i was told daily, shown daily, experienced their judgement daily.
in their eye, hell is all there was for me.
yet some of the little ones had soft hearts for me, even if their voices fell silent.
the sadness of separation filled my body, sapping its energy.
i had settled alone, on a huge rock in the front yard,
looking out on the miles of fields below the great Uintah mountains.
longing for belonging i drifted off imagining what was beyond here.
out there, i felt places that might be open to me.
i sent my loving energy out to that place, the unknown i will seek one day.
suddenly dandelions lifted their heads, noticing me.
thousands of them in the bright sun, thru the field all around me.
blooming heavily, their essence floating thickly in the air,
enveloping me in their soft yellow sweetness.
their scent filled my lungs, impacting my body with tender love, kindness
their kindness lifted me, i floated on yellow spores of weeds beautiful bloom
something deep within knew, 'this' is where i belong, where i am from
a place where all is connected, embraced, allowed to be what it is
where Spirit speaks to me, nurtures me, consoles me
i am home here in creations sweet embrace
light piercing a dark landscape
resigned my longing, staring blindly at the cool land from the porch.
invisible, lost deep within the darkness of rejection, bottomless.
limp, exhausted and weary of futile attempts for inclusion.
booming afar, tumbling the atmosphere, it’s sound travels far
bouncing off the hillsides, breaking open the deep.
i see shadow creep across the plain, round edges claiming its territory.
bolts of shattering sound and terrifying light bolts
pierce the dark landscape within and without me.
waking me, pulling me out immediately to the present with its intensity.
with short breaths I’m counting down it’s travel…
4 3 2 1… Ka…..boooooooom.
wait, listen, heart pounds, silence… 4 3 2 Ka….booooooom.
chill touches my forearms and the back of my ears.
i pull my energy in for warmth.
birds skatter into safe cover.
sheep stand, watch, staying with blades of grass, in their wool.
4 3…. ka...booooooom, cracking light marks the horizon sooner, closer.
now covered in shadow, hairs raise, running the course of my skin.
siblings burst out the door and join me on the step.
we wait… crack….kabooooooooom
reverberating sound- we cover our ears.
our breath held in silence.
cloud Ripping open, liquid bursts forth in a wide vail for miles around.
falling, falling….. the land braces itself, 3, 2, 1
Twhoooo..pshhhhhh……hitting all at once, the splatters high and jagged,
we flinch from the impact.
The Pour so thick and loud we can’t hear one another over it’s roar.
We scream at one another in delight, Deafened, we read our lips
lined with ripples of fear.
The sheep flee the field for cover, pulling together, hoofs pounding, drenched.
It floods my cells, my mind, my soul, with its sound and splatter.
Obliterating the dark emotional landscape I had previously commit myself to.
i hide my tears welling in thankfulness for my siblings, we have one another.
i surrender to the flash and flood of Spirit in the rain’s purge
i am free
I thank the Great Spirit for reaching out to liberate me from my mind, share love thru my siblings, and embrace me when our greater world did not.
That's why I'm committed to providing save and supportive space for women to share the journey together, meet me in the Natural Rhythms™ Conscious Dancer Facebook group here. You are always welcome!
"May you come to see and allow the Spirit conspiring to Support You,
sending messages and help thru all of Creation!"